Dissertation PDP

My dissertation proposal was based upon the concept of “obsession with perfection,” in the female form. I wanted to write about beauty and how the body could be manipulated for the purpose of attractiveness and appearance. I thought this would be a good topic for discussion especially as my practical work related to the female figure and manipulation of the body. My first tutorial I had about dissertation went well, I just needed to find more relevant artists that focus on the body and beauty.

I didn’t really have a clear idea of whether I would be asking a question or a statement, but after the summer holidays my dissertation began to take shape. Unfortunately, during the summer I had written about 3000 words that then got scratched because I had too many ideas. This is general problem I have had this year, as I have had too many ideas that I haven’t been able to focus on one which means that my brain is mush.

After a few more tutorials, my main topic appeared as beauty and anti-beauty in art. My tutor suggested that this would work better for me as anti-beauty is more interesting and so much different to the usual topic of dissertations. I’m happy that my dissertation changed into “The Explorations of Representations of Anti-beauty throughout Art” but it did take a lot of time to come to this as I re-wrote my ideas and chapters about three times. This meant that I felt like I had started three dissertations in the space where I could have written one.

I found researching for it so much harder than I thought, mostly due to there being so few texts on anti-beauty. I found many texts and books on beauty and the female body but anti-beauty was never mentioned. I found this difficult to comprehend as it is so important for a woman and in art.

I chose to write the 8000-10,000 word thesis as I wanted to challenge myself and I know that I am not a strong writer so knew that it would be something I would find difficult. The introduction was particularly hard for me to write and it probably didn’t help that I left it to the end. I thought that if I wrote most of my chapters first, I could use that as a way for me to write up my introduction so that I knew that I was going to say. For the tutorial after handing in the first draft, I hadn’t actually written that much and I knew that I had to write some more so that my tutor had a decent amount of work to look at. I thought it would go so much worse than it did and every time I had a tutorial lined up, I dreaded going as I hate people reading my written work. For my first draft, I didn’t do well at all. My writing was basic and I needed to explain my points further. (This has always been something I have needed to do ever since I was at school.)

Since my feedback, I finished my chapters and I aimed to write between 1500 – 2000 words for each chapter so that then I would write up to 1000 words in my introduction and then 1500 words in my Lit Review and 1000 words for my conclusion. This was a guideline for me that I aimed to work from, which was easier for me as I had a target to get to for each section than just write 8000-10,000 words. I did put off my dissertation until I reached a stage when I knew I needed to crack on and do it before it took over all my time. Plus, I knew the earlier I did it, the earlier I could hand it in and focus on my practical work, which I really needed to do due to not doing particularly well at the end of the autumn term.

Dissertation tutorials were every two weeks and I made sure that I went for a tutorial even if I hadn’t written that much. The last time I went, I was absolutely dreading it and I really didn’t want to go see my tutor but I knew I had to for the sake of my work. I think that the worst part of writing it for me was the editing. Editing took exceptionally long, but it was needed to make it more formal and appropriate.

Whilst writing my dissertation and the research I used, I found that my practical work will benefit from this. During the Autumn term, I started to create bodies inspired by Frankenstein’s monster using different limbs from my peers. This created the anti-beauty aspect as the figure accepted that it would not conform to society’s standard of beauty.

Since finishing my dissertation, I have begun to take inspiration from my own body. I used the research I had about Sarah Lucas and Tracey Emin in my last chapter, to commence work based upon my own personal experience of learning to accept my figure. This aspect of my work is very new to me, as I have insecurities about my body and would never have thought about using my physical form for my work. I feel I could make the concept of anti-beauty more personal and now I plan to manipulate images of my own body through photography, collage and eventually sculpture.

As a whole, I have found third year a massive step up from second year. I found that I was working steadily throughout my first and second years and although, I knew that third year would be hard, I did not expect it to be this difficult. I think I have found time management the hardest to work with as focusing on both practical and theoretical work was difficult. I do find that it is a push into the right direction, as it gave me more focus to try and get my dissertation done on time. I hope to hand it in a few days before the deadline so I can relax and have my full attention on my practical.